“The stranger is the other, that which you are not. We need the other to heal ourselves.”

“The stranger is the other, that which you are not. We need the other to heal ourselves.”

~Cyrille Vael, monk of Chevetogne Abbey

Yesterday Pamela posted a very thoughtful reflection, and a humble one, on some of the things she has learned from living here in Baja, particularly around the ways people interact with one another. (I am hoping she will make its settings public so I can reshare it directly with you).

What struck me in reading her reflections was how easy it can be, without intending, to be blind to the other. As Americans we tend to be overly direct, focused, and goal oriented in a way that often makes us appear rude or thoughtless in Mexican culture.

As I read her reflections I couldn’t help but connect them with so much of what I have learned, and am learning, by spending time with the horses.

As predators in the animal kingdom we humans are often very focused, goal oriented, moving in straight lines and direct.

Horses are not like that.

In fact, our ‘directness’ can be off putting to the horse. It just comes on too strong. Too intense. It misses the subtle but essential formalities such as ‘buenos días’ and ‘how are you?’

This does not mean that we don’t have goals. This does not mean that we become aimless and wishy washy instead. Rather, in the softness, in the subtleness, there is also a strength. Like the martial arts master who does not need to make a show of their mastery but in an instant can immobilize an attacker if necessary, there is an understated strength of presence that is called forth.

I feel so grateful to live outside my culture - both by living in Baja, but also by living with the horses.

Cyrille goes on to say, “Without the other you remain stuck in your own little world. Only the other breaks us open and allows us to become big of heart.”

Photo is with Luna’s granddaughter (Deseo is her uncle!) who is a week old and absolutely the sweetest!